Sometimes trying to say something when you know you have no clue what to say makes things worse.

When someone you know is breaking up with someone and they turn to you for comfort, don’t tell them to get over it.

Ask them what they need and then connect with them on their level.

Don’t change the subject because their pain makes you uncomfortable.

If you can’t provide your friends empathy and compassion, then maybe you shouldn’t be their friend.

36 thoughts on “Jessayin’…

    1. meh, it’s just my opinion. you do you….right? different people have different ideas that I’ll post in comments later. A lot of different opinions, it seems.

      1. … opinions differ because experiences differ…i love differences in opinions…it gives an opportunity to test my own thoughts… with different perspectives… and the opportunity to learn from that which i have not experienced.

      2. I love that we can agree to disagree and it doesn’t threaten our friendship. Although, you’re the only one I let disagree with me, so there’s that. 😇

  1. Sometimes being a friend means holding space for the other, and keeping our well-intentioned pie holes shut. 😉🌹😎

  2. Mmmmm pie!

    I try to do this, too. When people are hurting it’s better to just be there and listen. People always try to solve the problem of try to offer ways to fix it. That’s not always best. I like your idea of asking them what they need and connecting to them in their level not our own. Sometimes selflessness is best. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  3. First of all, I want to thank you for the follow up Kara. Much appreciated. 🙏😊

    On the topic, my opinion is that the best thing you can do is to be a good listener when your friend is in pain. I never like to give straight up advices in a form of “you should” or “you need”. What I would do is try to have a conversation and see if I can lead him/her to the conclusion her/himself. Just be a sort of guide, but with indirect approach.

  4. KaRa, it’s very nice to see you. 😉

    I think it’s a succinct little piece of advice, advice well worth following. This is one of those lessons most people learn the hard way, unfortunately. Sometimes we need to put others needs ahead of our own and take care of them instead of accidentally shushing them or diminishing their pain by expecting them to show up for us. Break up pain has been compared to grieving over a death of a loved one. The loss is very similar, but a lot of people don’t recognize that. It’s nice to see someone speak up about a kinder alternative to inadvertently causing our friends more pain when they try to lean on us. I will remember this the next time.



  5. I enjoyed how to the point this is, K. No fuss no muss. Edgy, too. And I happen to agree with all the other commenters. It’s necessary to take care of out friends instead of being selfish, sometimes. Emotional connection is a solid foundation for a lot of relationships including family, spouses, friends, and even in the workplace. Well said! 👌

  6. Ah, sit in stillness and the silence of isolation, feel nothing but the moment and simply breathe, no words are needed, just be there and me and others will be there with in in silent the communion of inner peace and grace. Faux

    1. Kevin, as warm as your personality is, a hug from you would probably comfort the most hardened soul. Thanks for stopping by. It’s great to see you again! 🌺

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